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Oracle of Wuffing
||Sonja: ...I still don't get it.
Sensei: Eh? What's that, girl?
Sonja: Well, it takes a massive amount of energy to produce a viable clone... How could Black Hole get access to that much power?
Grimm: Rachel and Jess were just saying the same thing! If clones eat up that much energy, that makes 'em hungrier than me! Harrr!
Sonja: Lash? Do you know anything about it?
Lash: Huh? Oh, yeah...totally. Making one or two clones is WAY easy! It takes about as much energy as all the cities of Orange Star use in a month. Not all that much, really! Tee hee hee! I hear there's a clone at the Twin Crown volcanoes. Ooooh, it's gonna be fun!
Sonja: I wonder which clone will show up next?
Lash: Maybe it'll be a copy of you, right down to the plain face! Tee hee hee!
Sonja: Hey, that was mean! I don't think we could ever be friends.
Sensei: Whoa there...that's a double helping of volcano. At least they're not active...
Sonja: Be careful, Sensei. Something's not right here...
Grimm: That thing erupted!
Koal: These volcanoes have been blessed with Black Hole's most advanced technology. Like a hungry snake emerging from its den, these falling rocks will strike mercilessly. In just 18 days, this land will be reduced to naught but ashes...
Grimm: Gwar! Think you're tough, shorty? I'll smash your head like a melon!
Koal: Leave it to a simpleton to use his hands instead of his brain. Arise, my clone! Help me sacrifice these fools to the purifying flames!
Kanbei: By your command.
Sonja: D-Dad?! NO!
Rachel: There's our answer--we must face commander Kanbei.
Koal: You have amassed quite a stable of COs. And now, their skills are turned against you! The hunter has become the hunted! Send in the clone!
Kanbei: By your command...
Grimm: Gragh! He looks just like our emporer!
Sensei: I can't see as well as I used to. So it looks just like him, eh?
Grimm: It'll be like fighting Kanbei himself. Those dogs... I'll bust their chops!
Sensei: Hah! That's nothin'. I've been whippin' Kanbei since he was a pup, and I can do it again! If they rigged this volcano to blow, there's got to be a way to stop it. Hm...looks like this mission involves two fronts and both screens. The CPU usually commands the secondary front, but I bet you want more control. If you want to take over, open the menu and hit Intel, then turn Auto CO off. You can turn Auto CO on or off anytime, so use it wisely.
Ring of Fire
[Jake: Eighteen days? We gotta hustle.
Rachel: There isn't even time to plan. We'll just give 'em the ol' razzle-dazzle!]
[Colin: I'm an allied commander! I won't let this molten lava scare me!
Sasha: How brave! Ummm...Colin? Why are your knees knocking?]
[Grimm: Gwar har har! Time to knuckle up! Sensei, you should stay here and relax.
Sensei: No need to worry about me, Grimm. I taught Kanbei to fight back in the day, and I even showed Hachi a trick or two! I may be old, but there's no way I'm going to lose to some knock-off clone!]
[Javier: So this is the renowned Sir Kanbei! I have much desired a duel with him... Ah, but only that it were so! But the striking down of a clone will not give me the warmth of victory. Jess, what manner of man is the true Kanbei?
Jess: He's a lot like Grimm, actually. Birds of a feather and all that.]
[Jess: Two volcanoes! This is a rare geological wonder. I wonder if there are hot springs or geysers nearby... What is it? What's wrong, Jake?
Jake: Everything cool with you? You never say stuff like that. You're always intent on the battle and stuff. Know what I'm saying? But yeah...word...once we beat these suckas down, I could chill in a pool.]
[Lash: I haaaaaaate volcanoes! They think they're so hot! Nature only exists so we can conquer it with science!
Hawke: I hope you understand just how strange you are. Come on, let's go.]
[Max: Let me take the lead, Grit! I'm gonna hit 'em hard!
Grit: Now hold on there, Max. Did you see the lava's trajectory? If my hunch is right, that road is gonna be mighty risky. We should slow down and keep one eye peeled for trouble.]
[Sami: Be careful there, Eagle. Those flying lava rocks could decimate your air force...
Eagle: Don't sweat it. As long as you're around, there's no way we can lose.]
[Sami: Hey, Sonja...are you OK? You're hurting, huh? Battling a clone that looks just like your dad... Maybe you should tell Rachel that you want to sit this one out...
Sonja: I'm fine. Let me do this. This...this is just a clone. My father is safe and sound... I will utterly destroy this monster that wears his face!]
[Sonja: Lash, please help me! I must win this battle!
Lash: What the? Hey, don't be a weirdo! Is one little clone really such a shocker? Oh, fine... I'll help. I'm bored anyway. Don't forget to thank me when we win!]
[Jake: Turning the land to ash? Man, that's weak.]
[Rachel: We don't have a moment to waste! Let's take these guys down!]
[Max: I'm not scared of a little lava!]
[Sami: We have to fight Sonja's dad? This is going to be awkward...]
[Colin: M-molten lava? Isn't this a little dangerous?]
[Sasha: Don't dwell on the heat. Imagine yourself somewhere chilly, and think cool thoughts.]
[Grit: If we use them hills to our advantage, maybe this'll be an easy fight.]
[Jess: I have faught near volcanoes before. I must draw on that experience.]
[Javier: Ho, Sir Clone of Sir Kanbei! I challenge your honor on the...er...field of honor!]
[Eagle: There's turbulence around the crater. My air forces can't get near it...]
[Sensei: Ha ha! This takes me back to my old days as a hot and fiery vulcanologist!]
[Grimm: Forgive me, emperor--I've got to sock you in the mouth!]
[Sonja: Even if that thing is a clone... This is so hard... Father...]
[Hawke: Koal, is it? Good-bye, little man.]
[Lash: A Kanbei clone? Laaaaaame! I could have come up with something WAY better.]
-Day 2, Black Hole-
Koal: Heh heh heh... This battlefield's volcano is controlled from the secondary front, and vice versa! To stop the eruptions, those fools would have to capture all four of the cities that ring the opposite volcano. And I know where the lava lands... So I won't get hit! Feeble-minded imbeciles! Where will you hide when fire death rains down upon thee?!
-Capture 4 BH Cities Surrounding Volcano on the Primary Front-
YC Soldier: Commander Sonja, we found a Black Hole unit hiding out in the city! We think they were causing the eruptions, so we detained them for...questioning. The eruptions on the secondary front should cease immediately!
Sonja: Excellent job, men! That will make it easier to win the day. Watch me, Father! I will be victorious!
-Win Secondary Front-
YC Soldier: The secondary front is under our control! We've seized a volcano-controlling unit!
Grimm: Gwar har har! Now we can really unload on these chumps! I'll learn those Black Hole types not to use a volcano against me!
Koal: Uuuuuunnnnngh... Utterly humiliating. But better to flee and lick my wounds than become fodder for the hounds!
Grimm: Oooh yeah! We totally slammed 'em! One more battle under our belts!
Sensei: Ha ha! Keep 'em coming! I feel like I'm 80 again!
Jake: You rocked that, old-timer!
Rachel: Listen up, everyone! We're going to the Central Plains! If we can win, we should be able to boot Black Hole out of Omega Land for good!
Colin: Commander Rachel! Th-this is serious! W-we just got a r-report... It's... It's...
Grit: Easy, Colin. No need to burn yer grits. Rachel ain't going anywhere.
Sasha: Calm down and speak slowly.
Colin: Y-yes. You're right... You're right... Calm thoughts... Cool thoughts... Oh, it's terrible! Omega Land is turning into a desert again!
Jake: Dude! Weak!
Koal: Heh he heh... Well done, my clone! Now, on to the next battlefield! You'll do my bidding until you drop!
Sensei: Ugh. They have copied Kanbei too well. I feel as if I'm fighting the real thing.
Sonja: Using the power of my father like that... A million deaths are not enough for them! But I think I've figured out a way to escape this predicament. The volcano slows us on both fronts, but the secondary front is really tough. All of those narrow roads make it difficult to move with any haste. We must first capture the four cities on the primary front. Then the secondary army can advance with ease! Since that army has anti-air units, we should send up tanks and artillery.
Grimm: So we just have to capture four measly little cities? Gwar har har! We have to move as fast as we can, because those 18 days will fly by! Emporor Kanbei, Lighting Grimm won't let you down again!
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||Oracle of Wuffing