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Oracle of Wuffing
||Lash: Hm... Maybe if I move some of the artillery over here... Hee hee...
Lash: Oh, and I'll put some of those little tankies over here... Goodie! Oh no! They used a dual strike! Raaaar! Boom! Crash! ...Tee hee hee!
Hawke: Lash? Lash! Pay attention! Stop playing games on the battlefield! Carelessness leads to death.
Lash: Don't be silly. It's just a game! No, really... I'm playing a game, see? And let me tell you, this boss? Totally hard. Seriously.
Hawke: Get back to the lab. We've got company, and I've got another mission to attend to. You're on your own for this one. We can't afford to have anything happen to you.
Lash: Yeah, yeah. Stop worrying about me! I DO have our brand-new weapon--you know, the black bomb? I'm more worried about this stupid boss battle than I am about... Uh-oh!
Hawke: What now?
Lash: I think I dropped something when I was walking around earlier.
Hawke: See? You are careless. What did you drop? Nothing vital, I hope.
Lash: Hmmm... I don't remember. Probably just bolts or lint or an egg or something... I dunno. Who cares? I don't want to look for it. Let's just go.
Rachel: According to intelligence, the black bomb research lab should be right here.
Jake: The black bomb? Hey, I remember that thing...
Max: Yeah, that's the one that almost wasted us on Bearen Island!
Rachel: That's the one. It has to be around here somewhere...
Colin: Oh! Commander Rachel! I found this in a bush over there!
Grimm: Gwar! What are you doing?! You can't just walk around touching stuff! It could be a booby trap! And then you touch it and... KA-BOOM!! OOOH YEAH!!
Colin: Oh no! I-I'm s-sorry, sir!
Rachel: I don't see a blasting cap or trigger mechanism. Actually, it looks like a remote control for a toy car or something...
Sasha: The enemy is just ahead!
Lash: Tee hee! Hello again, sad sacks! No one can have my black bomb! The closest you'll come is when I use it to blow you all to smithereens!
Max: Grrr! Back for more, huh, Lash?!
Lash: Tee hee hee! Heya, Max! You still cracking coconuts with that big head of yours? No one can defeat my scientific mind! All I have to do is press this button and...
...Huh?... Oh nuts! My remote's gone!
Rachel: Hey, Lash? Could you possibly be talking about...this?
Lash: Heeeey! Give that back! Thief! Thieeeef!
Colin: W-why should I give it back...?
Lash: Hey! Are you losers asleep or something? The enemy took my black bombs! Do you have any idea how long it took me to build all of those?
BH Soldier: Um...w-what are we supposed to do about it?
Lash: Argh! Fine. Forget it. They probably won't be able to use them, anyway! It takes a special kind of genius to master black bomb deployment. OK, let's start the game!
[Rachel: Giant missiles... Flying bombs... Black Hole sure loves weapons that self-destruct, don't they?
Jake: Maybe it's because they always leave the smell of gunpowder behind. I could dig that... It's kind of a nice smell.]
[Sasha: ...Oh, yes. I know that smell... The aroma of gunpowder always reminds me of sweet potatoes. Mmm... Sweet potatoes... Now I want some sweet potatoes! Hey, Colin, let's bake some tonight!
Colin: Hey, Sis...stop thinking about tonight's menu and start worrying about Lash!]
[Sensei: Explosives are hard on these old bones... Hmm... Is old bones one word or two? Oldbones? Old bones? Oooold booones...
Grimm: Gwar har... Huh? Hey, Sensei, are you really senile or just faking it?]
[Jake: That black bomb's blast radius is stupid huge, and it can hurt our units, too. We have to be all careful and stuff...]
[Rachel: I'll use anything and everything at my disposal to win!]
[Max: The black bombs got us last time. Now it's our turn to fire up those bad boys!]
[Colin: I'm the one who found that remote... I want to use it!]
[Sasha: Hmmm... Four black bombs on the right. I wonder how we can use them...]
[Sensei: Oh hey, an airport! I love airports! Let's take that first thing!]
[Grimm: We've got to beat the enemy to the center of the map! Let's go! Oooh, yeah!]
-Select a Black Bomb-
Jake: So that's the black bomb, eh? Pretty sweet.
Max: That thing has bomb written all over it! It's essentially a simple air unit without a main cannon or secondary guns...
Rachel: I think it's an unmanned weapon. We can control it from here with the remote. The controls are simple, so we should be able to move it like any other unit.
Max: Hey, let's try blowing one up!
Jake: Um...isn't that...dangerous?
Rachel: Maybe not. This is a new kind of weapon, and I'm not familiar with it. Blowing one up is a good way to see how it performs.
-Explode a Black Bomb-
Max: Whoa! Kaboom!
Jake: I knew it! This is the same thing that destroyed our copters on Bearen Island!
Rachel: The bombs take five HP from any unit within a three-square radius. OK... Now we know what these black bombs can do!
Lash: Oh man, this is so annoying! Now I have to make another remote!
Colin: Hey! We found a blueprint for the black bomb!
Rachel: Nice work! Now we can develop our own black bombs.
Max: Works for me! Those bombs are stylish!
Grimm: Gwar har har! It's like a huge fireworks show...and everyone's invited!
Rachel: Yes, I suppose. But you can only use them once. Isn't that a waste?
Jake: It's like you scratch that one phat beat that you'll never find again. I like it! I've got to master these things!
Lash: Tee hee hee! I knew they wouldn't be able to control my bombs! And now that I've rebuilt my remote, I'm outta here! See ya! Oh, and you can keep those other bombs. Use them as paperweights or something... Or maybe Max can bench-press them! Tee hee! Tee hee hee hee hee!
YC Soldier: Commander Grim! Perhaps this technology is beyond us...
Grimm: Graaa! Don't go saying things like that in front of everyone! Those bombs are just big sparklers! Any idiot can use a sparkler! Hm... I bet we can win without those four bombs on the right. We'll need those left-hand ones, though. If we move too slowly and run into the enemy, we'll never get them free! We need lightning speed! Get to the pipes and release those bombs ASAP! Use the bombs first to weaken the enemy, then attack with your other units. If there's time, we can even try to use bombs on the right! Oooh, yeah!
Sensei: Grimm is right. New weapons are fun, but we need to work at the battle at hand. If we focus on the bombs to the exclusion of all else, we will surely lose! Now let's get out there and show that creepy goth chick a thing or two!
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||Oracle of Wuffing